The Outside Trash

  I wake up. The first thing I see through sandy eyes is the light coming in between the blackout curtains. My heart has been on the stair master, but I’m not moving. I open my phone hoping to see what? I don’t know. I need to get up. I bury my mind in videos […]

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The Corner Where Shame Meets Pain

It’s mid-July and the thermostat in my teaching trailer reads 85 degrees. Everything I am wearing—skirt, summer camp t-shirt, faded red espadrilles hiding unpainted toenails—is sticking to me and I haven’t even started teaching yet. I need to make a playlist. One that says, “I’m the cool new music teacher.” I lean over to open iTunes […]

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On Anxiety: The Storm Inside

I’m in the calm before the storm. But, the storm is coming. She is bound to come, as she blows in every week around this time–right before I’m scheduled to drive over and teach a weekly master class (How to Sing) to four high school girls, like I have many times before. Her high winds […]

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Drowning in Guilt

   “You know what happened is not actually your fault, right?” said Beth, my therapist, with eyebrows raised. I couldn’t meet her eyes, instead I stared out of the window at spring’s new leaves dancing along their sturdy branches. *** “Fine.  Have a nice life!” These were his last words before slamming the phone down. […]

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