Sleep has never come easy for me. My body accepts it with reluctance at best and rebellion at worst. On this particular night I am somewhere in between the two when a sense of unease sidles me. I feel the space around my body tighten and an awareness of a slight pressure between my legs. […]
Read More
First you will have to get married to someone who, when he asks you on bended knee in a 250 square foot apartment in Manhattan surrounded by the sounds of honking horns and a toilet that won’t stop running, you pause. You pause. Even though he stares at you, leans toward you, clutching the receipt […]
Read More
I am lying on the floor of my basement in the winter of 1989. It is dark but for the remains of a smoldering log in the fireplace. Cool air seeps through the foundation and between the spaces of the delicate afghan that covers me. My parents aren’t home. It’s only me and Tom, sleeping […]
Read More
March 23, 1995 New York City 2:25 p.m. At first I tried to push the thick, wooden door of the doctor’s office the way you push any door to exit a building, but it wouldn’t budge, so I turned and gave it a shove with my back and shoulder. It was then that I locked […]
Read More
A few nights ago, I had just turned off the light at the end of a long day and was looking forward to a good night’s sleep when my phone buzzed to let me know I had a Facebook notification. “Suzanne Frey Hawthorne has tagged you in a post.” Why is she tagging me at […]
Read More
Dear Son, What I’m going to tell you is going to make you uncomfortable, but you’re a teenager now and I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. I have lain on my back staring at the swirls on a lampshade trying to figure out what I did to deserve being pinned down, sweated on, and […]
Read More
Christmas had arrived quiet and gray in 1987. The grandfather clock chimed a reminder that lunchtime was near. My mother cooked the turkey in a pillow case, hoping it would taste as good as it smelled, for once. It didn’t. “But what are you going to do with a Bachelor of Music. What will you […]
Read More
Every day after school let out, my girlfriend and I would sprint back to her house to listen to Minnie Riperton’s “Loving You” (is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful). It was the number one song in the spring of 1975, back when I used to wear my hair in pig tails and skate circles in our […]
Read More
In fourth grade, I had Ms. Mahon (sounds like “man”) and she was a scary lady, with a collection of paddles in the corner and a penchant for yelling. Our classroom was connected to another one, with two bathrooms in the middle. One of Ms. Mahon’s rules was our class was only allowed to use […]
Read More
I had already told my story to four other psychiatrists in the span of 14 months, been prescribed countless medications, and dealt with numerous debilitating side effects, when I decided to try someone with a more holistic approach. “Lisa?” She said, extending her hand. “Yes, hi.” I hoped she couldn’t feel my heart beating […]
Read More
Pryvate Parts 