How I Had ‘The Talk’ With My 5-Year-Old

“Mommy, what is the sex?” Max asked, picking at the tag on his Batman pajama top. “Um, well, it’s complicated.  We need to get to school.  Today you get to finish your Leprechaun traps!” Thank God we’re running late.  Again. I knew this day would come. I just had no idea it would be set […]

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Suspicious Activity Near Schools

1a.  Suspicious Activity Near Schools        Fri., May  6, 2016 9:03 a.m. Posted by: cindymom44 A 9-year-old girl who lives in the community reported to the police that a man got out of a red pick-up truck and asked her to get into his truck with him.  She said no, ran into the woods, […]

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What Mom REALLY wants for Mother’s Day

“Mommy, can we go to Chuck E. Cheese’s for Mother’s Day?” said my 7-year-old from the merry-go-round. “Aw. That’s very thoughtful.” I said. “Spin me faster!” It was hard to spin him with one hand and text my husband, if u take me to Chuck E. Cheese on Mother’s Day I’ll throw myself into oncoming traffic with the other, but I […]

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Confession

I have a secret.  Coming out about this is probably going to make my life harder for a while, but hopefully in the long run, people will understand, accept it, and move on.

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How to Get Over Imposter Syndrome

“What is the worst thing that could happen?” asked my therapist, Beth, when I called her in a panic.  “I don’t know, but something tells me that today is the day I’m going to be exposed,” I said, nearly an octave higher than I usually speak. “What do you mean by exposed?” she asked. “You […]

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Yes, Nosey Bitch, I Am His REAL Mother!

  “No, we are NOT getting Skittles, Max!” I said. “But, Mom! I wanna taste the rainbow. Pleeeeeeeese!” The woman in front of us with the “Jesus Saves”  tote bag looked at him, then at me, then back at him with a grin.  “He’s precious.” I rolled my eyes.  “Thanks.” “Put the candy back, Max.  […]

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I Held My Farts Back For 8 Years. No more!

“God DAMN it!” My father shouted as he struggled to manually crank the driver’s side window down on our wood-paneled station wagon. He was holding his breath as he drove, cheeks puffed out, shoulders up. When the smell got to me in the back seat, I did the same.  It was like… I don’t even […]

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The Time A Psychiatrist Fell Asleep While I Was Talking

  I had already told my story to four other psychiatrists in the span of 14 months, been prescribed countless medications, and dealt with numerous debilitating side effects, when I decided to try someone with a more holistic approach. “Lisa?”  She said, extending her hand. “Yes, hi.” I hoped she couldn’t feel my heart beating […]

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An Open Letter to My Son’s New First Grade Teacher

To my kid’s new first grade teacher: I am sending my child to the first day of first grade having done no work over the summer.  None.  Sure, I looked at the packet that was sent home with reading and math work.  I showed it to my child.  Neither one of us were enthusiastic to […]

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When a Conversation With a Homeless Man Saved My Life

Everyone else was asleep when I drove away from home that morning.  I begged through weary tears, “Please, God, just take me. I’m no good to them, to anyone.”  No child should be raised by someone like me, I thought.  No husband should have to deal with my neediness and negativity.  They will be better […]

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