How I Had ‘The Talk’ With My 5-Year-Old

“Mommy, what is the sex?” Max asked, picking at the tag on his Batman pajama top. “Um, well, it’s complicated.  We need to get to school.  Today you get to finish your Leprechaun traps!” Thank God we’re running late.  Again. I knew this day would come. I just had no idea it would be set […]

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Suspicious Activity Near Schools

1a.  Suspicious Activity Near Schools        Fri., May  6, 2016 9:03 a.m. Posted by: cindymom44 A 9-year-old girl who lives in the community reported to the police that a man got out of a red pick-up truck and asked her to get into his truck with him.  She said no, ran into the woods, […]

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What Mom REALLY wants for Mother’s Day

“Mommy, can we go to Chuck E. Cheese’s for Mother’s Day?” said my 7-year-old from the merry-go-round. “Aw. That’s very thoughtful.” I said. “Spin me faster!” It was hard to spin him with one hand and text my husband, if u take me to Chuck E. Cheese on Mother’s Day I’ll throw myself into oncoming traffic with the other, but I […]

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Confession

I have a secret.  Coming out about this is probably going to make my life harder for a while, but hopefully in the long run, people will understand, accept it, and move on.

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Breaking in to find myself

Christmas had arrived quiet and gray in 1987.  The grandfather clock chimed a reminder that lunchtime was near.  My mother cooked the turkey in a pillow case, hoping it would taste as good as it smelled, for once.  It didn’t. “But what are you going to do with a Bachelor of Music.  What will you […]

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High Notes and House Calls

Every day after school let out, my girlfriend and I would sprint back to her house to listen to Minnie Riperton’s “Loving You” (is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful).  It was the number one song in the spring of 1975, back when I used to wear my hair in pig tails and skate circles in our […]

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How to Get Over Imposter Syndrome

“What is the worst thing that could happen?” asked my therapist, Beth, when I called her in a panic.  “I don’t know, but something tells me that today is the day I’m going to be exposed,” I said, nearly an octave higher than I usually speak. “What do you mean by exposed?” she asked. “You […]

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Yes, Nosey Bitch, I Am His REAL Mother!

  “No, we are NOT getting Skittles, Max!” I said. “But, Mom! I wanna taste the rainbow. Pleeeeeeeese!” The woman in front of us with the “Jesus Saves”  tote bag looked at him, then at me, then back at him with a grin.  “He’s precious.” I rolled my eyes.  “Thanks.” “Put the candy back, Max.  […]

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The Sound of Pee: On Bullying

In fourth grade, I had Ms. Mahon (sounds like “man”) and she was a scary lady, with a collection of paddles in the corner and a penchant for yelling.  Our classroom was connected to another one, with two bathrooms in the middle.  One of Ms. Mahon’s rules was our class was only allowed to use […]

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