green fields lay covered under ash
quiet years forgotten all at once
time
steep with fire
does not trouble
after life.
__
This is an erasure poem for Yeah Write’s Challenge #353. Please join me and a bunch of other supportive writers by clicking on the badge. The original text is below:
Pryvate Parts 
I love the phrase “quiet years forgotten all at once” it sounds so tragic.
Stellar erasure. After my attempt last week, I have so much more appreciation for ones like this that are done so well!
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Thanks, MM.
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Something like this inspires me. Even though there’s such few words used, I can picture everything and fill in the blanks in my own way.
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Thank you, Rachael. ❤
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The notion of time not troubling with life was so stark and striking. I love that you took a text on Vesuvius and made it feel like a post-apocalyptic future. You maintained the ferociousness of the original text, while imbuing a new bleakness on it. You really do such lovely things with erasure poems.
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Thank you, Asha!!
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❤
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time does not bother after life- such a hard-hitting line. Beautifully done erasure!
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Thank you!
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Loved this erasure. Conveys the essence of the moment when everything is wiped out in such few words.
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Thank you!
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My first thought was, I love this one. It has both pain and acceptance that comes after.
I was thinking of an entirely different fire until the read the text and noticed it was a volcano.
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Thanks!
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Pryvate Parts is back! How are you so good at these? Teach me the way, sensei. I love how the time of year the world ended is hinted at with the word “green”. “Time/ steep with fire/ does not trouble/ after life” is a troublingly calm sentence to land on. It creates friction with the tone of the poem.
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This means so much to me comb from you my friend.
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I loved each line by itself and how all the lines came together! The poem appears to be calm but it hides so much in plain sight.
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Thanks!
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I love that this poem was pulled from a passage about Vesuvius. “time steep with fire does not trouble after life” So powerful!
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Many thanks!
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Lisa! Best erasure yet! I just love how few words were needed to convey such a strong picture. 🙂
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Wow, this is incredible! So dark and apocalyptic, and sad. I HAVE to HAVE to try one of these, they are so inspiring. Great job!
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Even though this was bleak, it was also beautiful. I felt like I savored every word.
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“Green fields lay covered under ash.” I loved this line. The entire poem was intriguing but I loved the beginning because I’m left wondering why it’s covered under ash. This is a great inspiration to try erasure poetry.
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Oh wow, Lisa. Just wow. I have always played with Erasure and didn’t know it was a “thing.” Great work at digging for the gold!
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Shucks, thanks! ❤
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