It’s time to stop saying “gay lifestyle,” okay? Thanks.

Can we please STOP USING the words “gay lifestyle?” Okay? Great, thanks.

End of post.

God, would I LOVE to stop right there, go to bed, and wake up to millions of comments like “You are right, there is no such thing as a “gay lifestyle,” or “Wow, I’ve been a homophobic asshole my whole life, but that one sentence turned me around.”

But, let’s face it, you and I both know that’s not going to happen, so once again from the top:

STOP SAYING “gay lifestyle.”

Does anyone say heterosexual lifestyle? Do they? 

No, they don’t.


A “lifestyle” is, like, whether you choose to go to a gym or work out at home, drive or take mass transportation, wear underpants or go commando.

The operative word here is CHOOSE. You CHOOSE your lifestyle, you DON’T CHOOSE your sexual orientation any more than you can choose to have blue eyes or brown.

I mean, if people had the balls to admit what they really mean when they say things like “I can’t support the gay lifestyle” or “love the sinner, hate the sin,” they’d come right out and say:

“I don’t want to think about some dude sticking his dicktionary in another dude’s library.”


But, for the love of god, just because something is unappealing to you doesn’t make it WRONG or undeserving of the same human rights as YOU.

Also, being accepting of a thing does not mean becoming the thing. The LGBTQ community accepts heterosexuals as a valid form of sexual expression, but that doesn’t mean they have to actually have sex like you do.

“But, what about the Bible,” you ask?

Look, I was raised in the Southern Baptist church, and though I wouldn’t step foot back in there even if they promised to put my kid through college AND pay off my mortgage, I know me some scripture.

So, to the people who use the Bible to defend their anti-LGBTQ views, I say:


The Bible says a lot of things, but it literally NEVER SAYS “Readest thou this book and chooseth whatever thou likest best.”

And I mean, let’s face it, if you’re gonna take the Bible literally, then you’re gonna have to give up most of your shit (Luke 12:33), stop going to Red Lobster (Leviticus 11:10), and stay married to the asshole who beats you (Mark 10:9).

I need people to step away from the Bible, use their brains for something other than obsessing over where to find the coolest Pokémon, and realize that people of the LGBTQ community are not living “gay lifestyles” they are living…

(Wait for it.)


Just like everyone else.

And in most cases, it’s the same boring-ass life as heterosexuals—eat, sleep, work, poop, and look at Facebook.

Well, almost the same.  There are a few very important differences. LGBTQ people don’t get to walk around feeling accepted everywhere, like they belong everywhere, like they are as safe everywhere as their heterosexual friends are.

Furthermore, no straight male or female has ever had to sit their parents down and talk about how they like to have sex, which is basically what “coming out” is.

Seriously, think about that for a minute.  What straight person reading this has ever had to call their parents and talk about the ways in which they like to sex up their sex partner. Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable?

I could swallow three Xanax and a thermos full of Beefeater and I still would have a hard time saying, “Mom, Dad, I like Janes not Johns. And I know according to what you believe I’m bound for the fiery pits of hell, but I’d rather go there than face another man’s dangling participle.”

Because, no. Just… no.

Despite the discomfort, the majority of LGBTQ folks do it anyway.

I want to live in a world where nobody has to discuss their sexual preferences with anybody if they don’t want to. Where EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE can get married to ANYONE they want and enjoy the more than 1,000 civil, medical, and tax benefits of doing so. Where going to a bar never means wondering if you’re going to get shot mid-cabbage patch because of who you love.

Help me make the world a better place by not oppressing an entire segment of the population with ignorant clichés and pointless rhetoric, because, once again for the cheap seats in the back:

There is no “gay lifestyle” there is just…


End of Post.

(For real this time.)


20 thoughts on “It’s time to stop saying “gay lifestyle,” okay? Thanks.

  1. Speaking from the point of view of someone who was called “gay Kay” growing up:
    Two things, number one, my reply was always, “why yes I am happy.” I was kind of goofy even back then.
    Number two, (hahaha I said number two), “gay lifestyle” can actually be used correctly to describe someone who chooses to be happy, carefree and lighthearted.
    Seriously now, I absolutely love this musing! I so wish we could wake up, think a good idea and let it be so!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes. And also, the term “lifestyle” completely discounts any sort of love that person has for another. Imagine how weird it would be if people started referring to straight relationships as “lifestyles.” Thanks again for saying this, Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The fuckery from the other day-that post-stayed with me. She took it down. But in its place… A post supporting the confederate flag. Can we please turn off the world and turn it back on again? It’s. It not working right. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I couldn’t have said it better. Let’s move on people 😉 it’s really becoming old news and the world is evolving whether in the “right” way or not. Beautiful post like always.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Please, world, also stop adding “man” before words (man-boobs, mansplaining, man-whore), and stop with the gay marriage (er, the term, not the act), etc. Boobs are just boobs, marriage is just marriage, and there is no such thing as a whore. Enjoyable read. I needed a hell-yeah-mic-drop.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great well-structured rant that shows how a seemingly-innocuous phrase is actually really insulting. I also love the section connecting specific bible verses to the things bible-thumpers still do all the time. And thanks for the new innuendo – dicktionaries in libraries! This might be a commonplace phrase now, but I live under a rock when it comes to new slang…


  6. Amen. I also want to add that your POV as someone who grew up in a Southern Baptist church is important testimony against those who use the bible to make selective arguments. As always, I love your conversational style, especially in a righteous rant!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s